I hope you did all your chores. There's lacrosse to be watched, Internet friend.
There are 25 -- twenty-f*@$!^%-five! -- games today, pitting almost 80 percent of Division I lacrosse against each other. That's a stupid volume of games, and if you leave your couch or computer area for any reason other than to "make some fudge or lemonade," you're wasting your life. It's once again another mega weekend with mega games; let's all have our hair blown back together.
Here are your highlights for the day:
- PPL Park-a-Palooza: I don't like the name "Independence Classic," and my distaste for it has little to do with the fact that it binds two tons of plastic explosive to the definition of "classic" and hits the detonator. No, I'm mostly dissatisfied with the name because it carries the ethos of old Philadelphia -- the Liberty Bell, the Continental Congress, Ben Franklin doing stuff with bad hair, etc. -- and not modern Philadelphia -- throwing snowballs at Santa Claus, demanding that hoagies becomes a cornerstone block to the food pyramid, etc. As such, if I had my way, this event would be called "AngryStock" and it'd make billions of dollars. Anyway, here are profiles of the six participants: St. John's; Syracuse; Pennsylvania; Villanova; Penn State; and Lehigh.
- Hofstra at Notre Dame: Have you ever watched two grizzly bears fight? Yes? Have you ever watched two grizzly bears fight, one with a battle axe, the other with a nail gun . . . while in space? No? I didn’t' think so, college boy. Hofstra-Notre Dame is your chance to see something like that, but with lacrosse teams instead of bears and Gatorade baths instead of death due to mortal wound incurred in the cold vacuum of space from medieval weapons.
- Denver at Ohio State : Ohio State did that eye-roll thing to the lacrosse world last week, ignoring the skepticism that cats had about the Buckeyes by storming back against Penn State and winning in overtime, 10-9. This week, Ohio State has another opportunity to passive-aggressively let you know you're made of 75 percent water and 25 percent dumbass when Denver comes to town for an important ECAC matchup. Win and the world will join hands and collectively do that "O! H! I! O!" thing; lose and, well, Bill Tierney remains a bloodthirsty alpha predator.
- Mercer at Wagner: This, basically.
- Princeton at North Carolina: "We've secretly put Marcus Holman and Tom Schreiber on the same field together. Let's see if the defenses notice, and more importantly, if they can survive." I want to make this absolutely clear: The defense with the most limbs remaining at the end of regulation wins and the loser must cover everybody's medical bills. The live stats for this one should billow smoke due to data overload, and I couldn't be happier about that fact.
- Cornell at Virginia: This is all I have to say about this:
Here's Saturday's full schedule. If there are errors, please let me know. I pulled this information from the Lacrosse Magazine website. I'll populate links to live stats and video as the day progresses.
|Manhattan||Mount St. Mary's||1:00||Link||Link|
As for Sunday, this is your heat:
This is your open thread for the weekend. How many eggs do you reckon you could eat? I reckon I could eat 50. People will be around to yak about whatever is tickling their fancy.