Sacred Heart Pulls Off the Hidden Ball Trick

I'm not sure what I love more: The hidden ball trick or goalie goals. They each have their charms.

It's not clear when this was from -- the Pioneers didn't appear to play a scrimmage this past weekend, yet the video was posted today -- but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that Sacred Heart, in the least clandestine way possible, pulled off the hidden ball trick against Mystery Team X -- a college lacrosse team born in a laboratory test tube in the basement of a building located at an undisclosed university on the East Coast, nurtured and cared for only on highlights of the Washington Generals against the Harlem Globetrotters -- on what can only be described as a traditionally chilly day in Southern New England.

Let's break this down:

0:01: The guy in the red shorts has the ball. He doesn't even dummy a pass; he just extends his crosse to the cat in the grey sweatpants. He doesn't even give the traditional fake flip, and his partner in tomfoolery doesn't have the time, apparently, to provide the opposing defense the respect of pretending to catch the ball and give a fake cradle or two.

0:03: The cat in the grey sweatpants charges hard down the right alley, at least pretending that he's trying to pretend. The guy in the red shorts still has the ball, presumably shocked that nobody in green is buying this quarter-ton level of bull that he almost didn't even try to sell.

Also: Look carefully at the Sacred Heart sideline -- there's a small grouping of players to the right (number 21 and two others) -- losing their sh*t that the Pioneers are going to pull this off. How is nobody seeing this all happening? This is the most overt secret operation I've ever seen, and I've read pages upon pages about the Watergate break-in and the Bay of Pigs invasion.

0:05: The guy in the red shorts still has the ball, already sizing up his goal fifteen yards out. I have no idea what Mystery Team X is thinking, other than that they are preoccupied with the post-game hamburger spread at the tailgate. This is the antithesis of keeping your head on a swivel.

0:06: Someone from Mystery Team X -- finally! -- recognizes that Mystery Team X is getting bamboozled in the most miserable way possible and attempts to help from 10-yards away. This probably isn't going to work out too well for Mystery Team X.

0:07: It doesn't work out too well for Mystery Team X.

The moral of the story is this: The hidden ball trick remains amazing, even when it's executed in plain sight. Sacred Heart, basically, pulled off what would be Penn & Teller's iteration of the play, which is pretty impressive.

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