New Georgetown head coach Kevin Warne was the U.S. Lacrosse National Convention this past weekend in Philadelphia and put on a field clinic called "We Have Issues." This, in fact, did not constitute standing in the middle of a makeshift lacrosse field and reciting all the problems he has with people, things that may or may not have to do with lacrosse, and where the course of American discourse has headed over the last 50 years due, in part, to American society having an infatuation with Snooki rather than James Madison. (Personally, I am disappointed.) Rather, Warne gave a truncated dissertation on defensive drills and how programs can implement better functions in their approaches. It also featured this:
You're killing me Beardsley. I will let Jim Boeheim know about this, and his wrath with respect to Orange-Hoyas relations knows no bounds. Otherwise, some notes from the Warne interview (and here's some actually useful information from Lacrosse Magazine):
0:01: Warne did not tear off his shirt, turn green, and tear his blue jeans to shreds at the start of the video. This should put to bed the rumor that Warne is actually the Incredible Hulk moonlighting as the head men's lacrosse coach on The Hilltop.
0:57: Warne on his time so far at Georgetown: "Doing things a different way." This includes playing tag with hootin' and hollerin'.
1:07: "We're going to make sure we have our guys fundamentally sound the first week or two of practice." And if they aren't, they will suffer death by intensity eye lasers (which may or not be a violation of the Geneva Conventions).
1:30: Warne is noncommittal on bringing the mosh pit to Georgetown. Thousands of boat shoe-clad Hoya alums hold their brandy glass high and are assured that their tennis club will not be infiltrated with Proletariat-indicia of joy.
As for Detroit, things are happening:
0:06: Holy crap, Nina Carter is a little too bubbly for the Internet. Attention Nina: You are on the Internet; act accordingly (as if someone stabbed you in the face with a pitchfork).
0:43: "I think the team's attitude is going to be different." Basically, Detroit is going to move to Seattle, wear a lot of flannel, and doesn't care what you think, yuppy.
1:36: "It's kind of getting old losing." Don't tell a certain school on Staten Island that. It can be an art form, son.
2:56: "Championships are won with the amount of time you put in the preseason." I'm going to go ahead and respectively disagree. Championships are won by infecting your opponents with communicable diseases -- deadly ones, preferably -- that force them to withdraw from competition and forfeit their games to you, allowing you an unabated path to total victory.