America East Lacrosse Tournament: Well, Someone Will Win, Right?

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Every Division I tournament. Every team. College Crosse has it all on lockdown. Please send cookies and naptime. Today we're slashing to bits the America East Tournament.

I'm not going to lie: I totally duff'd it on when the America East was starting its tournament this year. I was convinced that the league's postseason was facing-off on Thursday, not today. I am pretty sure that I am dumber now at 31 than I was when I was 14. Clearly the public schools and private sector have failed society once again.

As a result of my brain working like that of a seal being clubbed about the head by an unnamed evildoer to adorable animalia, the America East is kind of getting short-changed today. Sorry, boys and girls. Them's the breaks.

Here's an overview of the 2012 America East Tournament that you can study non-stop until your eyes bleed. A compressed profile piece will eventually follow. Everything gets moving with America's best league for hating victories on, well, today.

CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT: AMERICA EAST

Quick: Name me the best team in the America East? Did you answer "Huh? I don't want to buy your drugs!"? Yes? Good, then you passed the test. There are nine Division I college lacrosse conferences and the America East -- because it's a special snowflake -- is the only league to not have a member with an overall winning record. Ay-yi-yi. Hartford -- they of a 5-7 overall record -- is the conference's winningest program at a staggering 42.8 percent. That's . . . well, that's gruesome. What's even more gruesome is that despite carrying the league's highest winning percentage, the Hawks are the league tournament's four-seed. Brain 'splosion.

At the top of the America East charts is Stony Brook, which at 5-9 on the season (4-1 in Conference Whatever), is the One-Eyed Man in the Country of the Blind. The Seawolves show fairly well in a lot of the tempo-free analytics, but out in the real world where predators roam, Stony Brook hasn't faired all that well in reality. Regardless, they're the favorite in this thing. (I think. Whatever.)

Coming in behind the Seawolves are UMBC (fairly icky, but in the America East, "icky" may equal "auto-bid invited"), Albany (which as March 30, 2012, didn't even have a victory after suffering seven-straight losses to open their campaign), and Hartford (sexy offense; needs all the cosmetic surgery on that defense). I'd laugh at all of this but it's all too vividly real.

Here's how each team stacks up in some legacy metrics:

2012 AMERICA EAST TOURNAMENT
SEED TEAM PACE RANK AOE RANK ADE RANK AEM RANK
1. Stony Brook 60.82 55 32.85 17 28.03 26 4.82 16
2. UMBC 64.13 41 29.81 32 32.27 45 -2.46 41
3. Albany 71.17 10 31.15 23 33.39 49 -2.24 40
4. Hartford 65.13 33 36.34 6 33.51 50 2.83 27
PACE = Number of possessions per 60 minutes.
AOE = Adjusted offensive efficiency (goals for per 100 offensive possessions).
ADE = Adjusted defensive efficiency (goals against per 100 defensive possessions).
AEM = Adjusted efficiency margin (AOE less ADE).

So, uh, yup; this thing is really going to happen and someone is going to the NCAA Tournament out of this pool. (I think. The NCAA may call off the entire tournament on account of "Uh, why again?")

Here's the shakedown on the big offensive weapons taking the field this weekend:

WEAPONS OF CHOICE: AMERICA EAST
TEAM NAME T.O.V. RANK TEAM NAME T.O.V. RANK
Stony Brook M. Rooney 9.25 47 Hartford C. Bender 9.97 29
Stony Brook J. Tundo 8.76 56 Hartford R. Compitello 7.68 87
Stony Brook R. Campbell 7.79 82 Hartford K. O'Shea 6.65 131
Stony Brook R. Bonanno 7.30 100 Hartford M. Bowes 6.23 146
Hartford A. Genik 6.02 153
Albany J. Resetarits 12.76 6
Albany M. Thompson 11.25 14 UMBC S. Jones 9.68 36
Albany T. Thompson 8.00 77 UMBC J. Lustgarten 8.41 68
Albany L. Thompson 6.27 143 UMBC S. Hopmann 5.10 192

T.O.V. = Total Offensive Value (individual points per 100 offensive possessions). This is updated through all games played by May 1, 2012.
Rank = National T.O.V. rank. This is updated through all games played by May 1, 2012.

So, that's your overview. Who are you taking to take home top honors?

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