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The Law Firm of Matt Reyes-Guerra-Dunn, Attorney at Lacrosse, is a full-service practice prepared and able to serve any of your legal needs. The firm is locally-recognized as a leader in the legal and lacrosse community. The Law Firm of Matt Reyes-Guerra-Dunn, Attorney at Lacrosse, specializes in the following areas of law:
- Personal Injury: Do you need a guy to stop stealing your mail? Well, we're the guys to make sure that his fingers no longer function correctly, if you get our drift. Our focus isn't necessarily on personal injury defense or plaintiff claims, we're more, you know, involved in the get-it-done area of personal injury representation. 1
- Businesss Planning: Starting up a new business and closing and old one can be a challenging and arduous task. Let The Law Firm of Matt Reyes-Guerra-Dunn, Attorney at Lacrosse, take care of all the heavy lifting for you. Our expertise in transaction planning -- the less sophisticated would call it "money laundering" -- is essentially in ensuring that your first year in business is a successful one. And when it's time to close up shop "to pursue other business opportunities" (i.e, "insulate oneself from creditors with a timely bankruptcy filing claiming anything other than a wanton personal appropriation of business funds") our experience in securing fraudulent insurance payments following "accidental" arsonist fires at places of business provides the comfort and ease that you'll surely appreciate. 2
- Tax: Hate paying taxes? We do too! Our burgeoning tax practice has a deep understanding of the Internal Revenue Code and our patented tax planning packages -- for example, Tax Planning Package AG0110: "What is this? Russia?!? We're not paying anything, you Communists!" -- will make sure that you owe the bare minimum -- zero American dollars -- to the federal and state governments each and every year. 3
- Intellectual Property: In our firm's history, we've provided defense for 120 intellectual property claims against our clients. Basically, we know what we're doing. While some may say that our now-industry standard defenses of "Nuh uh!" and "But I found it on the Internet!" are sophomoric, unimaginative, and baseless in any court of review in the United States or elsewhere, we know the real story: You're innocent and that's the fact, jack. 4
1 Not sanctioned to practice our unique brand of personal injury representation in any jurisdiction in the United States.
2 Not sanctioned to practice our business planning representation in any jurisdiction in the United States.
3 Full disclosure: We're currently under investigation by the Department of Justice and may have had a bit of an angry email war with the I.R.S. the other day. Still, call us!
4 Intellectual property claims involve people stealing pieces of your brain and eating it like in Hannibal, right? Cool.