Reverse Survivor Update: Reverse Survivor 2012 is Dead; Long Live Wagner!

The 2012 Reverse Survivor Champion has been crowned -- it's Wagner (again) -- but we'll keep tracking the Seahawks' progress toward their first win since April 24, 2010, because no soldiers are to be left on the battlefield, wounded, without attention.

And you thought Wagner was nothing but paint covering rusted machinery. You were wrong, my friend! The Staten Island Bear is strong! The Staten Island Bear lives and is powerful, capable of destruction and terror! The Staten Island Bear shall be victorious in its might! Capitalist swine! There shall be a celebration of the Staten Island Bear:

  • All conquering Staten Island Bears shall be feted in the streets, riding atop their tools of warfare as its supporters shower them with affection and the release of 10,000 pristine doves!
  • The general of the effort -- Colonel General Matthias Poskay -- will be given the highest honor awarded to a Staten Island Bear returning home with the spoils of war: Borscht for life! (And not the crappy borscht that you get in a can from the local dispensary for the Proletariat. No sir, this is the real deal borscht with only the finest beets harvested by Staten Island's strongest hands.)
  • April 14, 2012 shall be declared "National Staten Island Bear Day." All citizens shall mark this day with solemn remembrance of the 721 days since the last "National Staten Island Bear Day."
  • The heads of the the defeated shall be displayed outside the Annadale station stop of the Staten Island Railway. This shall warn all future detractors of the Staten Island Bear of the consequences of testing the superpower.

Anyway, Wagner snapped it's 721-day losing streak with a rousing 11-8 victory against Sacred Heart. The Seahawks trailed 6-4 at the half, got down by three goals at one point in the third quarter, and then proceeded to go on an unanswered five-goal run in the fourth quarter to apply the hammer and sickle to the Pioneers' skull. The win is the first for Matt Poskay at Wagner and, dare I say it, with Mount St. Mary's remaining on the schedule after a date with Bryant, the Seahawks could finish with two wins on the year (which would be their highest win total in once season since 2005).

Way to go, fellas. Nobody deserved a win more than these knuckleheads.

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