Do you see that image over there on the right? Yes? That's an angry kangaroo punching a woman right in her mouth. It is, in case you didn't know, the greatest photograph ever taken. That image has -- and I'll double-check this later -- won every single Pulitzer Prize for Feature Photography since 1784. That's a fact. (I think.)
The biggest question about that photo is why the kangaroo is so angry. I think it's because the woman was, like, "Oh, look! It's the kangaroo that boxed Sylvester the Cat and lost!" The kangaroo was still sore about that bout -- something about the referee putting in the fix for the big betters in Vegas -- and he decided to stop all the gruff with a shot to the lady's pie hole.
Anyway, there are 24 games today around the country; a full 79% of Division I is knocking heads against each other with the sole goal of making the Kremlin eat it. (Or to win lacrosse games. I forget which one sometimes.) Your highlights for today include:
- Villanova at Delaware: Villanova, apparently, ran out of Pennsylvanian schools to play and decided to use the spare bank note that it had under the couch to travel to Delaware and pay some tolls. The Blue Hens are in all sorts of trouble right now, but like they say: A wounded imaginary domesticated poultry is the most dangerous. (Nobody says that.)
- Bucknell at Navy: The Bison are winless -- Defeated! -- and that's a shocking fact; Navy is in its first year under Rick Sowell and almost beat North Carolina -- Say what?!? -- last weekend. Bucknell should notch its first victory of the year today, but cruise missiles launched from the Mids could continue the Bison's pain.
- Albany at Yale: The 35,248 Thompsons that dot Albany's roster look to show the nation whether Yale is legitimate or not. Cole Yeager -- the child of Cole Trickle and Chuck Yeager -- will be a major factor today at the dot.
- Notre Dame at Drexel: THUNDERDOME! meets static discipline: Hooray? The Irish are licking their wounds after an overtime loss to Penn State last week while Robert Church and Brendan Glynn are looking to get a big ol' win for the toughest league in America. This might be the best goalie match-up of the day, pitting Notre Dame's John Kemp against Drexel's Mark Manos.
- Penn State at Ohio State: They're playing for a trophy! Cute! Logan Schuss is going to have his hands full today for the Buckeyes trying to solve that Nittany Lion defense anchored by Austin Kaut.
- Army at Cornell: All Rob Pannell did this week was dump in ten points against Binghamton and, probably, eradicate polio again just for fun. Army, while sloppy up in the Carrier Dome last Sunday, rolls out two studs in Garrett Thul and Tim Henderson. If the Black Knights can control the majority of possessions -- Army struggled with face-offs against Syracuse -- they could grab a big one in Ithaca.
- Duke at Maryland: Me brain hurting.
- St. Joseph's at Wagner: Shut up. Game. Of. The. Day.
- Hofstra at Harvard: Hofstra hasn't had the start of the season that they hoped: The Pride struggled with Sacred Heart to open the season and lost back-to-back heartbreakers against Princeton (that was a beating) and Fairfield (an un-beating, three overtime affair). Hofstra is hurting for a win, and Harvard -- even though they struggled early against Holy Cross on Tuesday -- doesn't look like the place that they'll get it. But, who knows? That's why the military is developing precognition weapons.
- Lehigh at North Carolina: Kevin Cassese should get a pot luck dinner thrown in his honor for what he's doing at Lehigh this season. The Mountain Hawks probably won't win in Chapel Hill today, but a good showing puts them in the conversation for the Patriot League title.
Here's the full slate for today:
|AWAY||HOME||TIME (E.T.)||FUN FACTOR||RANK|
|Penn State||Ohio State||1:00||N/A||N/A|
|Mount St. Mary's||Towson||1:00||N/A||N/A|
This is your open thread for Saturday. If you use the water closet, please return the seat to its proper position. People will be around to yak about whatever is tickling their fancy. Tomorrow's games will appear in a post, well, tomorrow.