Lumps of coal for everyone!
I don't . . . I just . . . if I put bleach in my eyes to clean them I'll still have eyeballs, right?
Let's break this down, I guess.
0:01: I've never been more appreciative of poor lighting in my entire life.
0:04: It's not the sexy Santa hats, it's the mid-riff cut-off shirts. Muscle Beach meets Maria Carey, if you will (or nothing like that at all).
0:18: And I now have a Pavlovian response to "Jingle Bell Rock": Dry heaving and questioning humanity.
0:30: If this goes full monty, I'm quitting the Internet.
0:39: I'm not exactly sure of the choreogrphy here but it can be best described as go-go-dancing-meets-"I'm-on-a-roller-coaster!"
1:02: The Hawkettes! (Dear God: Let this end soon.)
1:37: Once more, but with feeling this time!