This is the sweatiest warehouse party ever.
Bryant is quietly going about its business this offseason, preparing to build upon its 14-4 campaign a year ago under Mike Pressler (who will be entering his seventh season as the Bulldogs' head coach). Bryant was a frequent inclusion in the top-20 polls last year, and entering 2013 as the reigning Northeast Conference Tournament champions, the Bulldogs look like a pretty solid contender for the 2013 NEC crown and the league's newly-minted automatic NCAA Tournament invitation. Should Bryant punch its ticket to May, it'd be the first ever trip for the Bulldogs in its very short history as a Division I participant.
Anyway, let's discuss that video up there. It's frightening, but not frightening in a guy-with-a-meat-cleaver kind of way but, rather, frightening in a this-is-what-the-end-of-the-world-will-look-like-when-we-rise-up-against-our-robot-overlords kind of way. To the breakdown!
0:02: Menacing jumping jacks. That's not a soundtrack, people; that's the sound of the sheet metal fabricators right next to these cats cutting some new quarter panels. Ominous!
0:05: Up-downs! Either that, or Pressler is training his team with tracer fire screaming over their heads. It's kind of like survivalist training, except, you know, insane.
0:10: Just in case you couldn't read the board, the schedule was titled as "LIFT" and the exercises were: "Dead Lift," "Jump Pull," "Wrestle with a Grizzly Bear in the Wild with Only Your Bare Hands and Something Called 'Guile'," and "Hugs."
0:14: Workin' out in the boiler room, apparently. Don't steal the janitor's mop! It's his favorite one.
0:22: Weights! Weight lifting! All with ambient noise sounding like a robot tearing into his favorite meal: hunks of giant steel bolts.
0:30: Dramatic hand chalking. This is the apex of movie making.