Michael Carter-Williams isn't exactly the dodging presence that Syracuse needs.
Syracuse basketball is poised for a big year this coming hoops season. The Orange, currently ranked ninth in the preseason coaches and media polls, have depth throughout their entire roster and are in a good position to take home a Big East title in its final year in the league before departing for the ACC. Syracuse has excessive talent at all positions on the floor, so the obvious question is this: Can Jim Boeheim loan some of his athletes to John Desko to try and alleviate some of the concerns that Orange lacrosse is facing in 2013?
Donna Ditota of The Post-Standard took that question into the lacrosse laboratory and the findings are somewhat clear: Cross-breeding basketball and lacrosse doesn't really work. (Please note: Villanova's Mike Corrado questions the scientific process used in the video.) As the above video illustrates, throwing a ball into a hoop is a little different than throwing a ball into a lacrosse net. Let's break it all down.
- 0:01: Aw, yeah! Break out the suede jackets and mustaches, people! Let the funk open up your heart as if it were 1972 and your Ford Pinto was a mobile improvised explosive device.
- 0:29: Carter-Williams: "I played in fourth grade. I'm alright. Not too bad." Playing lacrosse is like riding a bicycle: You're going to fall off and wreck your face if you're not careful (I think).
- 0:33: "Baltimore native, a big hot bed of lacrosse." "I've never played lacrosse." Well, this should all go swimmingly.
- 0:47: From left to right: Brian Megill, C.J. Fair, Michael Carter-Williams, Joe Fazio, and Dom Lamolinara. In other words, this is the posing shot for the worst album cover in the history of athlete/indie rock band crossovers.
- 0:58: "I think my head's too big." Cascade obviously never made a lid that could protect a melon full of hoop dreams.
- 1:22: PLEASE DON'T THROW THE BALL AT ME PLEASE DON'T THROW THE BALL AT ME OH MY GOD WHY DO PEOPLE PLAY THIS GAME
- 1:31: The tyranny of the new stick stringing rules strike again! How can a basketball player that hasn't played lacrosse since the fourth grade get any hold without supplemental stringing? Tragic.
- 1:48: You know what? Carter-Williams has a little skill. A 6'5", could you imagine him feeing from behind? Good gracious.
- 2:23: And we've all officially seen the worst instance of the hidden ball trick ever.
- 2:33: SYRACUSE'S DEFENSE IS TOTALLY SCREWED IN 2013
- 3:14: It only took two college basketball players to finally find a solution to break the zone defense: Allow the ball to be thrown into an ocean of netting.
- 4:10: "Mike's trying out next year." Cue some guy in DeWitt screaming about how John Desko can't recruit anymore.