GOALIE GOAL! I REPEAT: GOALIE GOAL!

Denver's Ryan LaPlante cans the bean from around 15 yards against Maryland.

Ryan LaPlante, who took over Denver's top-line goalkeeping position after Jamie Faus tore his Achilles against Notre Dame last season, is making a case to man the pipes again for the Pioneers in 2013, but should Faus supplant him in the cage this year, LaPlante may have another use: As a warm body to fill one of Denver's open attack positions due to the departures of Mark Matthews and Alex Demopoulos.

Against Maryland in the Seatown Classic in Seattle, LaPlante went end-to-end, yielding the ball to no man, eventually ripping the ball past his Maryland counterpart. The world did not collapse upon itself following the tally, leading me to believe that goalie goals are more than the sign of the apocalypse.

Let's break it down:

0:00: End line, like a chessmaster working from the rear. Eat your heart out, Spassky.

0:11: LaPlante breaches the attack box; he's officially out of his element. This is a strange new land, full of dangerous detractors and those that distrust the crown. Assassins roam this area and, as it were, LaPlante is looking to get rid of his damn curse and make it the problem of someone else.

0:15: "Eff it. Go time! I have no idea what I'm doing."

0:16: "I just split your faces!"

0:19: LaPlante has officially crossed into Berlin, the box penetrated in an effort of liberation. If this looks like an act of war it is because . . .

0:20: . . . "TARGET IS HOT! TARGET ACQUIRED! I HAVE MISSILE LOCK! FOX TWO!"

0:22: He threw the ball so hard that he fell down. Either that, or his has an inner ear problem.

0:24: Fist pump. Aw, hell yeah!

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