Amateur Video: Maryland (Maybe?) Wins the 1975 (I Think?) National Championship in a Garbage Dump (Definitely)

Gratuitous highlights from Maryland's last national championship.

Do you remember the last time that Maryland won a lacrosse title? Me neither. I wasn't even born the last time that Maryland brought home top honors. In fact, back in 1975, my parents probably didn't even know I was possibly going to be a thing at some point in their lives. The circle of life!

Well, if you're like me -- cautious of facts that may have occurred before 1980 because you didn't see them with your own eyes (Dinosaurs aren't real! Henry Ford is a fictional character or, at least, a character that Harrison Ford would play in a loose bio-pic about his life if his life was actually about a guy that canned corn for a living and then had to defend his family from intruders!) -- I hate to break it to you: Maryland did win the national title in 1975 and there's visual proof.

The ol' YouTube machine kicked out some gold today in my erratic search for kitty cats doing people things. The above-video is, I am to assume, recovered amateur video of the Terps' 20-13 victory over Navy at Johns Hopkins. Let's break it down:

~ 0:02: Aw, yeah! Break out the sexy oils and powder blue everything! It's funky background music time! I want to watch this video from an era-specific Dodge Charger as I comb my mustache in the rear view mirror!

~ 0:10: That's visual proof that if you don't have a giant bag in your crosse, bedazzled with shooting strings, that you will definitely drop the ball for no apparent reason and wish you were playing on the hardwood for Lefty Driesell's Terps. Fact.

~ 0:13: Alright, focus on the huddle. Toward the left, behind the guy carrying the Maryland flag: Does this guy have an entire wardrobe full of red things? I mean, the reds don't even match. I'm assuming that his eyes were burned with acid at a young age and he can't help it. Sad story.

~ 0:19 Sweet field, Johns Hopkins. Apparently Johns Hopkins was busy finding miracle cures for crazy diseases instead of finding a miracle fix for dead grass: fertilizer. Consult some farmers, guys.

~ 0:25: The highlight was cut off there but I confirmed the end of the play with the Maryland athletic department -- the guy was mauled by bears wearing pork pie hats. Stuff was crazy in 1975, man. That's why the highlight had to cut out. The horror and pain sticks with the Maryland program today.

~ 0:36: NO WRESTLING ON A FACE-OFF!?! WHAT KIND OF COCKAMAMIE LACROSSE GAME IS THIS?!?

~ 0:54: "AUTO PICTURE." This was the future of technology, allowing humans to turn on the device, leave it alone as they drink iced tea, and let the wonders of magic absolutely ruin what was happening.

~ 1:24: That's actually a protest flag. If you look real close it says, "ANNEX HOPKINS!" The flag-waver was later stoned for crimes against Baltimore.

~ 1:25 - 1:35: I have no idea what happened there. Stop making video things happen while drunk.

~ 1:42: Look to the far sideline: There's just someone sitting there, Indian-style, while the game was going on. Did we have any concept of child endangerment 40 years ago? What the hell was going on?

~ 2:07: "So, uh, does everyone want to come on the field for a picnic? Janice brought potato salad."

~ 2:14: Yes. Just, yes.

~ 2:40: MUSTACHE ALERT I REPEAT MUSTACHE ALERT HIDE THE WOMEN

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