April 24, 2010.
April 28, 2010.
Those are, respectively, the dates of Wagner's and St. Joseph's last victory beers after a men's lacrosse game. It's been more than 365 days for each, and the wait for sweet, carbonated celebrations will continue for at least another nine months.
Entering each club's final week of play in the 2011 season, the odds for triumph looked slim. Down in Towson, Maryland, the Hawks were looking to grab a cheapie victory against the reeling Tigers. As if St. Joseph's had somehow committed a heinous crime against fate itself, Towson jumped out to a 6-1 lead at the half and never looked back, finishing off the Hawks' season to the tune of a 15-2 drubbing.
St. Joseph's finishes the season at 0-12 and will likely burn this year's uniforms to exorcise the demons.
Wagner, unsurprisingly, took it on the chin against Quinnipiac on Saturday, yielding 16 goals to the Northeast Conference co-leaders (Mount St. Mary's holds the tiebreaker against the Bobcats). With the loss the Seahawks finish the season at 0-12, claiming at least a share of the "Reverse Survivor" championship for the third time in the last five seasons.
Each team, at their convenience, may send representatives to the SBNation home office to pick up their championship Kleenex boxes.
All that's left to settle is which team gets to claim the 2011 "Wagner Cup." This distinction is awarded to the absolute worst team in Division I lacrosse; the most tired of the tired, the most impoverished the poor, the most ass-reddened of the summarily beaten. Failing to even accidentally win would be indicia of improvement for a "Wagner Cup" champion, and only the worst of the worst may drink from its gold-plated cup.
Without further ado, the 2011 "Wagner Cup" champion is . . .
WAGNER COLLEGE SEAHAWKS
Don't go changin' in 2012, you paragons of defeat.