Hat of eternal sadness. via store.cstv.com
Two teams. Four games.
That's all that remains in this year's "Reverse Survivor." St. Joseph's -- in its first "Reverse Survivor" dance in the last five years -- is charging hard at this year's championship. Standing strong at 0-10, the Hawks have an excellent opportunity to finish tired and summarily beaten. On the year, St. Joseph's has yet to score double-digit goals in any game and have, on five occasions, scored fewer than five goals in a game.
This is an upstart miserable team and that pursuit is compounded by the fact that the Hawks are in their first season in the ultra-competitive CAA (THUNDERDOME!). The 10-6 beating they took at the hands of Delaware on Saturday is indicative of that.
In the other corner is Wagner, perennial basement dwellers of not only whatever conference they're wallowing in (this year, they're the worst team in the inaugural Northeastern Conference), but also in the nation. The Seahawks continue to flirt with complete ineptitude, allowing Robert Morris to curb-stomp them on Saturday to the tune of a 23-9 de-teething.
Mercer and Presbyterian are bad in 2011, but Wagner is the gold standard of terrible. Nobody refuses to win and embrace the agony of defeat quite like those little rascals from Staten Island.
Let's run down the remaining slates.
Remaining Games: Pennsylvania (April 20); Towson (April 30).
Chances to Finish Winless: 90%.
There's no way that the Hawks get past the Quakers defense. No chance. In fact, there's a better chance that I beat Pennsylvania, and there's no way that's going to happen because bloggers aren't sanctioned competitors in Division I lacrosse. (I really need to get around to filing those "Intent to Compete" papers.)
Where St. Joseph's might have a chance is against the Tigers. Towson is clearly stronger than the Hawks, but the Tigers are finding all kinds of different ways to lose games this year. Towson has lost five one-goal games this season (!), including a miserable 3-2 loss to Loyola.
If the Hawks can keep it close (they won't), there's a chance (there's no chance) that they could grab a victory beer against the Tigers (they won't).
Remaining Games: Does it really matter?
Chances to Finish Winless: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000%.
It's Wagner, man. Me, you, and a 12-pack of silver bullets would have a fighting chance against the Seahawks. Don't go changin', Wagner!